Please share

January 25, 2009 at 3:18 pm 1 comment

It was during my 18th year when i read Rand, Sartre and other existentialists that i became more preoccupied with accommodating my own desires rather than compromising and blending them with those of others. Ever since, i have been more honest and comfortable with myself but i have also alienated myself from many. The problem is that i don’t want to alienate myself completely. I want to remain receptive and warm, not hostile and unapproachable.

The virtue of traveling is that there are so many people to choose companions from and so many settings to aid you. Living with 10 other people in a house imposes on these freedoms. I have not amended my ways and i have had 2 months to witness the growth of my isolation from nearly everyone in the house. I feel stuck in an environment with people i don’t relate to and where doing my own thing is perceived as hostile.

A factor that contributes to my isolation is my dislike of bars. I don’t drink and I need an activity (like dancing or games) or a conversation to keep my interest, otherwise i feel bored. I have a need that cannot be satisfied by going to a bar or participating in similar social activities, but when i don’t go i further alienate myself from people i am surrounded by on a daily basis.* So what’s the solution? “Take one for the team” and bore myself engaging in generic time-consuming banter? I feel so much pressure to compromise and i rebel against it by prioritizing my desires over those of the group.

What do you do? How do you deal with people (you can’t simply part with and have no desire to gain anything from) who have different interests from you without appearing hostile, judging, or alienating? Please share.

*this can be generalized to participating in chit chats with neighbors who gather outside the building to gossip together, or co-workers sharing a table in a cafeteria, etc.

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1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. Dancing « Yelena’s Travel Blog  |  January 27, 2009 at 12:30 pm

    […] Interesting follow-up on my previous post about my disdain for drinking. Bandolier medical journal suggests that people should drink regularly for optimal […]

    Reply

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